Techraptor's logo, but drawn poorly in MS Paint

Samuel Guglielmo's Top 10 of 2023

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Published: January 19, 2024 12:00 PM

Hello, my name is Sam and I have not played Baldur's Gate 3. I also refuse to take screenshots of my games, so instead I drew a picture of each game in MS Paint. I am not living my life by anyone's rules except my own. You will all deal with this.


Dead by Daylight - Nicohlas Cage in MS Paint

10) Dead by Daylight - Nicolas Cage

Dead by Daylight got several amazing expansions in 2023. However, all of them paled in the face of Dead by Daylight's most bizarre, hilarious, and best-made expansion: Nicolas Cage.

Surprising nobody, the expansion only added in a single new survivor, everyone's favorite weirdo actor Nick Cage. What this added to the game can not be understated. Nick Cage is voiced by himself. He swears, he screams, he rambles nonsense about living with Sadako. Even better, he comes with some of the most oddball perks in the game, allowing players to do things like pretend to be dead or just scream constantly.

It's a great mashup of weirdness and love and, if we didn't live in a world where The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent existed, would probably be the best tribute to the actor we've ever seen.

RoboCop: Rogue City but in MS Paint

9) RoboCop: Rogue City

I actually am not that big of a RoboCop fan. I saw the original a couple of years back, but never watched any of the others. I discovered I could drop the remake in conversations to upset everyone, and that became a go-to for when I needed it. I was still interested in Rogue City, but more because I wanted a narrative first-person shooter than anything else. I was honestly surprised to learn that Rogue City, even as someone who is not a RoboCop fan, is good.

 

Combining some decent sorta-open-world elements with shooting that just feels good, Rogue City has you stomping around and shooting people as RoboCop. Limbs fly, you gain skills to make limbs fly more, and you tank bullets in the most hilarious way. I had a great time stomping through the world of Rogue City and now consider myself a RoboCop fan. Maybe I'll finally watch that remake where he has one human hand for some reason.

Small Saga but in MS Paint

8) Small Saga

Ever since the demo captivated me years ago, I've had a hopeful eye on Small Saga. I've been a lover of oddball indie RPGs, and this seemed to be another ready to captivate me. It had rats, it had fun combat mechanics, and it had both beautiful graphics and a cool soundtrack. Well, zero surprise, in the end, Small Saga is pretty sick.

 

I really want to emphasize this one. A big part of the game is that the characters find tools crafted "by the gods" and use those as weapons. One basically becomes Guts, albeit using a pocket knife. A vole uses "magic" by flicking a lighter and burning enemies with it. I love it, and I want more.

Marvel's Spider-Man 2 but in MS Paint

7) Marvel's Spider-Man 2

I really liked Spider-Man, so it was no surprise to me that I also really liked Spider-Man 2. I know, right? But I was pleased that they managed to bring just the right amount of new stuff to the game to keep me into it, while also telling another great tale about two superheroes I really enjoy.

Additionally, Venom. He isn't even a major part of the game, but this is just the right amount of Venom content. Tony Todd does a wonderful job, and the fact that we're going to probably see a third equally fantastic Spider-Man game out of these events has me more hyped than ever.

Lethal Company in MS Paint

6) Lethal Company

"Hey man, look what I bought!" my friend excitedly yelled. I knew it was going to be good. As I wandered to the edge of the landing ship, he deployed a ladder. "Oh, that's cool," I said. "We can use that to--" I was then cut off by the ladder falling, hitting me square in the head with the most comedic 'bonk' and killing my character on the spot. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life, to the point where my roommate sent me a message asking if I was OK.

 

Lethal Company can be a scary and thrilling game. You wander around places collecting loot and trying not to be killed by monsters. That's all fine and dandy, but I have never before seen a game so effortlessly nail comedic timing. I'm not even sure it's trying to. It's just that the elements of the game somehow work so well and so flawlessly together that they all form into some insane fever trip of hilarious moments. Here's to a ton more laughing.

El Paso Elsewhere but in MS Paint

5) El Paso, Elsewhere

Quick disclaimer going into this: I am listed in the game's credits for helping moderate the community Discord. I didn't help with development in any way. I just think I should note that.

El Paso, Elsewhere is a horror rap concept album mashed with Max Payne-styled gameplay and PS1 aesthetics tied together with a love story. I'm not sure how else to really describe it.

 

Diving down into an endless motel full of zombies, werewolves, and fae puppeteers, James Savage needs to run, gun, and slow down time to blast a bunch of people out of the way. And he does so while making thoughtful monologues about life and listening to hip-hop. It's an insanely unique experience.

Armored Core 6 but in MS Paint

4) Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon

The original Armored Core was one of my favorite PlayStation games. Armored Core 3 and 4 occupied a ton of time on my PS2 and 360 respectively. I waited years for FromSoftware to get over this Souls nonsense and get back to giant robots. They did.

 

Armored Core VI has the robot creation that I remember. It has fast-paced battles against extremely cool bosses. It has great set pieces. It made me relearn the claw grip. A fantastic experience overall and a wonderful return to form.

Theathrythm: Final Bar Line but in MS Paint

3) Theathrythm: Final Bar Line

Final Fantasy music rocks. Rhythm games rock. What happens if we just sort of combine the two into a single super product? Turns out that it rocks hard.

 

Final Bar Line basically has every song you'd want to see from a Final Fantasy game and ties it in with a surprisingly fun rhythm RPG. Even if I hold the devs are cowards for not letting me play all 18 minutes of Dancing Mad.

Resident Evil 4 but in MS Paint

2) Resident Evil 4

When I was younger the original Resident Evil 4 was one of the very few horror games I actually enjoyed. It led to me eventually having a bigger appreciation for the genre as a whole. I was worried the remake would not be enjoyable. The remake, in fact, is very enjoyable.

 

Not sure I should have been surprised, especially considering how good 2's remake was. Resident Evil 4 manages to take all of the stuff that made the OG game good, expand upon it in all the right ways, and make it so that I had a terrific time.

Alan Wake 2 but in MS Paint

1) Alan Wake 2

When the original Alan Wake came out I... didn't notice. It was the same day as Red Dead Redemption and my priorities were elsewhere. About a year later, however, I did finally try the game out and immediately fell in love with it. I went back through Remedy's Max Payne series. I went on to grab both Quantum Break and Control on day one. When Alan Wake 2 was announced, despite the fact that Control had clearly been laying the groundwork for it, I was still shocked. I knew it would be massive.

 

I'm not sure what else there is to say about it than that. Alan Wake 2 is the exact sequel I wanted. It features a remarkable story, thrilling twists, terrifying moments, great gameplay, and more. I have never jumped from being as terrified as one of The Dark Presence's surprise appearances before laughing at the absurdity of Herald of Darkness. I can't wait to see what Remedy does next.

Samuel Guglielmo TechRaptor
| Reviews Editor

I'm Sam. I have been playing video games since my parents brought home a PlayStation whenever that came out. Started writing for TechRaptor for 2016 and,… More about Samuel