Disclaimer: This is meant to be funny. If you don't agree with what I say, feel free to leave it in the comments.
The Xbox One Summer Update is rolling out around the world...and there's not much to be excited about if you're like me. But maybe you're not like me, so here's what you get:
Cortana - Yes, Windows 10's voice command lass is now on Xbone. It supposedly has better accuracy and more commands than its Windows counterpart but that remains to be seen. This also reduces the reliance on Kinect for voice commands, meaning that you can now use your headset for that. Or you know, your controller.
Background Music - You can now play music in the background on your Xbox One. You no longer have to use Snap mode for your music playing apps as a result of this. This also brings with it Pandora, Groove Music, iHeartradio, but no Spotify. That's a Playstation-exclusive app. Do people still play music on their Xbox anymore? I would have assumed everyone had a phone and speakers but maybe I'm just too old-fashioned.
UI Improvements - Probably the first actual useful update of the patch. This part changes the Games, Apps, and Xbox Store menus with better laid-out information panels. The Xbox Store is also being integrated with the Windows Store to provide Xbox Play Anywhere functionality. If you don't know what Play Anywhere is, it's basically cross-platform gaming. It only works with a handful of games but still pretty neat.
Language Region Independence - Something that never should have existed in the first place. The Xbox now allows you to set whatever language you want regardless of your location. You know, like every other electronic device that's ever existed.
Facebook integration - You can now link your gamer tag with Facebook for some reason. Apparently, this will allow you to find Facebook friends who have an Xbox. I would imagine if you actually cared which of your friends had an Xbox, you wouldn't need Facebook to tell you that but again, that's just me.
Improved Sharing - You can now bug your friends about your screenshots, clips, and achievement a lot easier. You can now do it right from the home screen, because yes.
Now here's some updates for the Xbox app in Microsoft's Windows 10. I'd love to know the percentage of people who actually use it.
60 FPS clip recording - You can now record your dank, 360 no scope shots in 60 FPS Full HD. Congrats. Alternatively, you can get OBS and do the same probably with less hassle too!
New Game Hubs - The games that the people at Xbox consider to be the most popular now have Xbox app Game hubs. Meaning if you actually use the app people can see you playing your 7 hour League of Legends match and you can message them or share game clips. Now hear me out, I know this is a crazy idea BUT Steam does exist and does exactly this. You can add games that aren't bought from Steam on there and use the probably much better Steam overlay. Not only that, but Steam also has your friends who play the game on there so that's a plus.
Improved Game Bar full-screen support - A certain handful of games (League of Legends, World of Warcraft, DOTA 2, Battlefield 4, Counter-Strike: GO and Diablo 3) will now support the Windows Game Bar. What is the Game Bar? Oh, it's the same thing as NVIDIA ShadowPlay, Bandicam, FRAPS, OBS, Raptr, and Plays.tv only made by Microsoft, only supports a few games, and probably doesn't work as well.
iOS and Android support for Xbox App - You can now have the, frankly fairly useless, Xbox App on your phone now! That's about it really.
So what do you have to be excited about? Well, pretty much nothing. The UI looks a bit neater and there are some updates for features you probably didn't use, to begin with. Good on you Microsoft, way to spend your time.