Anonymous Millionaire Hiring Gamemaker For Real-Life Battle Royale

Published: April 9, 2019 1:40 PM /


turkey shoot (1982) battle royale film

The lives of the megarich are a constant struggle against boredom. advertises itself as the World's Leading Luxury Shopping Marketplace. It's also been called "Amazon for Millionaires" recently. Cars, yachts, private aircraft, property, and a variety of other luxury items are listed on the site, with price tags easily reaching dozens of millions. One particular listing that caught our attention was "Can you help design a battle royale inspired arena for a ‘last person standing’ contest?"

We’re looking for someone who can help design the arena for a 100-person battle royale inspired event. With a £1,500 day rate and an expected six-week project duration, we’re expecting the competition to be fierce for the £45,000 contract!

We were approached by one of our customers, who was on the lookout for a private island, for help in setting up the championship. We will also be handling registrations for the event when the time comes. Contestants will be provided with Airsoft guns, ammo and touch-sensitive body armour for a three-day event. The ‘last person standing’ will win a £100,000 jackpot. As it is currently planned, the event is intended to last three days, with 12 hours of competition each day. Competitors will then camp for the night. Food, camping gear and all the necessary equipment will be provided.

To make all this happen, the first thing we need is a talented gamemaker who can help the organisers to design the arena. Gamemakers will most likely have experience in large-scale event management and set design...

Granted, a battle royale with Airsoft guns is a touch less exciting, but they just couldn't really reinforce the old hunting-man-for-sport stereotype of millionaires. Instead, contestants should have a jolly good time on a private island with some survival gameplay included. At this point, the satires are writing themselves, and it's becoming increasingly likely that we really do live in a third-rate computer simulation. So if you're becoming increasingly bored with PUBG and Fortnite and Apex Legends, you might start rooting for this listing to be real and to see the project materialize.

For further reference on the whims of the megarich becoming a gaming scenario, you might also want to look into the Custom Complex Survival Condo. It's basically a luxury survival bunker built into an abandoned nuclear missile silo. It's a more glamorous version of Vault-Tec. In fact, an early version of the site a few years ago actually included a Fallout 3 concept art of the Capitol Hill in radioactive ruins, which I assume they had to take down due to copyright infringement.

What do you think of these real-life gaming projects? Is LARP-wargaming making a comeback? Or is it all just convincing satire? Or are we living in a third-rate computer simulation? Let us know in the comments below.

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