Is this the end of Xbox? [Satire]


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Is this the end of Xbox? [Satire]

November 5, 2014

By: Patrick Perrault


In this developing story, rarely have the stakes ever been higher. Gaming as we know it may come to a conclusion, and there is only one thing left to do...

Note: The following is satire and is not representative of the author or TechRaptor. Please enjoy.


As of 13:35 EST, the world is on the precipice of disaster. Squads of highly intelligent and stern individuals are working around the clock, so that owners of their Xbox One's no longer have to struggle to log-on.

The more clever of you may have already connected the dots, but let me make this clear.


Most people would advise caution in a war-time scenario such as this. They would ask you to stay calm, so that the situation can be resolved in a peaceful and timely manner.

But I am not most people. I instead urge you all to fight. Fight the menace that is having no Internet on your gaming device, and keep trying to log-in to provide even more stress on their struggling servers. Keep fighting to the bitter end! For if we are to get what we want, we must milk this as much as we can.



Just think, fellow gamers, for if we were to milk this situation to the last drop, we could get free games. Oh yes, not some lame Xbox Arcade title (or whatever they call it now) but instead real deals. By real deals of course, I mean... deals. As a dealer of mayhem and skullduggery, I expect many to fill in the blanks, as it were.


For those of you who want proof, go away. TechRaptor isn't that kind of site. Ethics smethics.

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