Capcom are either scratching their heads in confusion, or laughing like evil maniacs this week. As soon as the teaser for the Resident Evil Village trailer hit social media, there was only one thing we cared about: the tall hot vampire lady.
Sure, the franchise is no stranger to attractive characters, but I doubt the developers were expecting this game’s equivalent of Mr. X and Nemesis to be received this warmly. Hell, unlike those two, everyone seems to want her to catch us.
But the heart wants what it wants. Sometimes the character you end up fancying is definitely not who the developers had in mind. Here’s our picks for 10 villains that you find so oddly hot, your moral compass gets left at the door.
Meredith - Dragon Age 2
Leader of the Templars in Kirkwall, Meredith certainly is not presented as someone you’d be lusting over. Paranoid, authoritarian, and with a murderous hatred of mages, you spend most the the game against her, or desperately trying to get her to stop being insane if you side with her. But often fan-casted as the iconic Gillian Anderson, there’s a mature attractiveness to Meredith—not to mention the inherent appeal of her being able to kick you ass. And those eyes. Almost makes me want to go genocidal in her honor.
Tira - Soulcalibur Series
She's lower down in the list because I think the devs knew what they were doing with that design, but Tira still makes the cut purely because going after her rather than any of the other lovely Soulcalibur ladies in odd enough in itself. From Sophitia to Xianghua, there’s plenty of non-psychopathic characters who don’t dress in rags. But I guess we like our characters spontaneous, right? And it doesn’t get much more spontaneous than having split personalities.
Reaver - Fable II & III
Lionhead Studios may have given him good looks in his first appearance to be deceiving, but by Fable III, Reaver’s complete amorality is undeniable. Being immortal, he views other humans and their laughably short lifespans as his pawns—playing with them when they entertain him, and nonchalantly killing them when he’s bored. But confidence is attractive, right? And it sure as hell takes some confidence to slap some white makeup on, go full steampunk, then rock up to the monarch—who you tried to kill for fun—and ask if you can turn a homeless shelter into an orphanage. That charisma worked, and I’ll forever be upset there wasn’t a romance for this loveable sociopath.
Jack - Mass Effect 2 & 3
Okay sure, she’s hardly an antagonist, but it’s hard to argue that Jack’s actions pre-Mass Effect 3 were anything but villainous, albeit for very understandable reasons. While developers obviously intended people to be into her, they probably weren’t expecting so many of us to ditch the more conventionally attractive Miranda or girl-next-door Tali for this bald, tattooed convict—much less one who does all she can to put us off. And yet that swearing and anger (and the fact she could probably kill Shepard with the flick of her wrist) just makes us fall in love. Plus, unlike literally everyone else on this list, there’s a heartfelt core to her romance, making it one of the best and most unique in the series.
Benny - Fallout: New Vegas
Yes, really. I can’t be the only one into the whole 1950s gangster aesthetic, right? Something about hearing this Fallout: New Vegas villain say “ring-a-ding” is enough to make me forget the whole shooting me in the head thing. Surely I can’t be the only one who Black Widow-perk’d him and saved him from the Legion? If you keep him alive after seducing him, he leaves a note saying he’s speeding up his plans to take over Vegas for you, and it really doesn’t get sweeter than that—so long as you ignore the fact that cut content implies he was only doing this to backstab you yet again, as he does on near enough every other route. He's just playing hard to get.
Guzma - Pokemon Sun & Moon
Similar to Benny, this guy just has a hot vibe. The raw energy of leading a gang whose primary focus is squatting whenever and wherever they want is just irresistible, and I couldn't help but wish I could join Team Skull in Pokemon Sun & Moon. Again, I think it’s the confidence, because frosted tips in this day and age is bold, but his superior attitude towards everything in Alola except his crew means he pulls off the 1990s fashion effortlessly. Guzma just wants to cause chaos, and I refuse to forgive Game Freak for not letting us help him.
Gruntilda - Banjo Kazooie Series
This marks the first time many of us wanted the bad guy to win. When you get a game over in Banjo Kazooie, the evil witch Gruntilda succeeds in her plan to steal the beauty from Banjo’s sister… and suddenly becomes smoking hot. As a kid, I spent an embarrassing amount of time seeing if I could get that to be the actual ending, but alas, goth girlfriend Gruntilda is the one that got away.
Darth Sion - Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
If you love commitment and passion, look no further than Darth Sion, one of the antagonists in Knights of the Old Republic 2. Being so angry that his body won’t let him die just makes him even more irresistible; it’s that ultimate “but I can change him!” fantasy. And in the end, you literally do. After several attempts to slaughter you and all the Jedi, you find out that (if you’re playing as a female character) he’s had the most messed up crush on you for a while. Calming the genocidal hunk down, you finally convince him to accept death. "I hate you because you crawl within my head[...]but your presence holds no thoughts, no teachings, you are just… there, unspoken." Swoon.
Also, quick honorable mention to Atton, who is more or less just Sion with a pretty face and better pick-up lines.
Sephiroth - Final Fantasy VII Compilation
Final Fantasy VII goes to painstaking lengths to make Sephiroth the most unlikeable character in video-game history. He burns down villages for no reason, he drives Cloud to insanity, and he kills the purest, most innocent character in the story, just to achieve more destruction. With that in mind… does that mean he can’t be hot? No, because he 100% is. That physique. Hell, even the anime villain hair. Just unfairly attractive. As soon as I booted up the Remake demo and saw his imposing HD form looking down at us, covered in flames, I couldn’t be the only one thinking “oh no, they made him hot”... Right?
Mileena - Mortal Kombat Series
Despite having obviously appealing, uh, assets, Mileena is the ultimate weird villain crush. This classic Mortal Kombat ninja is a near-exact clone of her sister, Kitana—the only difference being the bloody massive protruding fangs coming out of her mouth. Now, I’m definitely not into those Tarkatan teeth she’s sporting, so by that logic, I should be all over Kitana, who is quite literally just Mileena minus the teeth. But I’m not, and I bet some of you weirdos aren’t either. Her homicidal attitude just makes her that much hotter, and her wardrobe doesn’t exactly hurt either. Sure, Kitana’s fine, but Mileena’s endless bloodlust and determination to take the throne of Outworld makes her irresistible.
Or maybe you are just into the teeth. In that case, more power to you.
Did we miss any villains out? Who are your guilty video game crushes? Let us know in the comments!