aliens colonial marines

TechRaptor Staff's Video Game Confessions

Published: April 14, 2020 11:00 AM /



We've all done something in a video game that we regret. In Red Dead Redemption, there's an achievement to tie a maiden to the railroad tracks and let the train hit her. Or perhaps you let most of your crew die during the heart-pumping finale in Mass Effect 2. There's no true real-world implication for these actions, but online games or supporting unsavory business practices by developers are a whole different story.

TechRaptor is laying it all out on the line for this article, originally stemming from the idea of buying the horse armor downloadable content notoriously featured in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Regretfully, I purchased said DLC and my actions may or may not have lead to the monetization of just about everything in video games. While this is an exaggeration, we all play a part. For more gaming confessions, take a look at some inward-looking anecdotes from when the TechRaptor staff was much younger in age and much more naive.

Pre-Order Disaster by Robert N. Adams

Everyone has their pre-order disaster stories, and I'm both proud and ashamed to say that I have one of the worst. I pre-ordered not one, but two copies of Aliens: Colonial Marines prior to its disastrous PC launch.

Why would I inflict such pain on myself? Well, a friend had bought me the 2010 Aliens Vs. Predator game. I couldn't wrap my head around the awful mouse smoothing (and my potato computer could barely run it anyway), so I figured I would pay him back with the next Aliens game.

It was, in a word, awful. A hundred bucks out the window for one of the worst games of the 2010s. I played through it with my friend exactly once and we had fun, but it was a terrible, buggy mess. I'm now much more cautious about pre-ordering and rarely do it at all these days. Learn from my mistakes.

Taste Test by Robert Scarpinito

nintendo switch cartridge

When the Nintendo Switch came out, everyone talked about the bitter flavor on the game cartridges. Logically, it makes sense. We probably don't want little kids to swallow our precious copies of Breath of the Wild. Still, I had to find out just how bitter these carts were.

In other words, my DNA is probably all over my first Switch cartridge—and also every one I've purchased since. I test each and every one to ensure a consistent standard is being met in Nintendo's products. I call it post-release quality assurance.

So far, every single one has been just as bitter as the first.Thank god 90% of my games are digital.

Poké Fraud by Sam Guglielmo

Once upon a time, Pokémon came out, and me and my pals got it. One of my friends who was new to the game had a Squirtle. I had a Charmander and wanted his Squirtle. He would not trade me.

That night he stayed at my house, so while he was asleep I snuck over to his Game Boy and made the trade without his permission. A few days later he finally noticed and asked about it, and I convinced him that there was a feature in Pokémon where if you battle too often with one Pokémon, then keep the game off a few days, that Pokémon runs away because you were abusing it or something. He declared Pokemon lame and didn't pick it back up for a long time.

I have some regrets.

Pro Catfish by Kenny Himpe


Scamming used to be a big and unpunished thing in ye olden Runescape, over a decade and a half ago. The early days of the internet, where online kids were turning into teens and they really wanted a girlfriend and would (now infamously) exclaim "buying gf." It was a market ripe for the picking, so a bunch of crafty kids decided to make female avatars and maximize on this budding market.

Being a crafty 14-year-old who wanted to make easy gold, I dipped into this a handful of times, but one encounter that stood out was a kid who wanted me to emote using the "bow" and "kneel" emotes for...well, you can imagine that part for yourself. He seemingly was so enthralled, he offered me a golden ring with a white gem on it as an engagement gift, and then vanished from the face of the earth.

 I should probably be too embarrassed to share this, but you can’t judge a hustle.

Amateur Catfish by Austin Suther

I wasn't quite as crafty or dedicated as Kenny, but I do have a very similar experience. I look back and laugh at this memory, but I may have instilled some serious emotional trauma to one online individual. You see, I used to play RuneScape a lot as a kid. It was my first MMORPG, and it was also the first time I noticed that women get a lot of free stuff in these types of games. So, I made myself a girl and went to Varrock looking for a suitor. It didn't take long to find my prey, and immediately I asked him if he'd like to get married.

I somehow found a player who'd act as an ordained minister, and so the marriage ceremony commenced. Upon concluding said ceremony, I chickened out—perhaps due to regret—and announced myself as a man. I'll never forget what he said to me: "Oh. Haha."

Then he just ran away.

Rutledge Daugette

I own an Ouya.

Do you have any gaming confessions? Let us know in the comments below!