Tango Fiesta is a top-down, run-and-gun action game, developed by Spilt Milk Studios, a name which makes my spell checker extremely angry, and published by Mastertronic. The game’s hook is its theme, an 80s style, cheesy action movie setting, complete with puntastic character names.
I must say, when this first came into my inbox, I was really excited. “FINALLY! Another Broforce,” I screamed out in excitement, another game that I can have mindless fun with and make my friends come along with the trip—needless to say, I went into Tango Fiesta excited like a kid in a candy store. Unfortunately, and there is no real easy way to say this, that elation was short lived.
Jumping in, you notice the mountain of 80s movie type of puns, from one of the playable characters being Bionic Cop, a play on Robocop, and the first boss being Gordon Bennette, a play on the big baddy from the 80’s Arnie flick, Commando—the humor does hit the spot. Starting up Tango Fiesta, you jump into a threadbare story, which is something to be expected.
Getting past that, you are dropped into a jungle with what can be considered a fetch quest in the world of an action game, go to place, blow up thing, go to another place, kill the big dude etc, and this is precisely where the disappointment starts. This is all Tango Fiesta ever is, one fetch quest after the other, and this would be acceptable if the rest of the game was fun enough to keep up this kind of monotony, but it really isn’t. The graphics are flat and boring, and the game is slow paced and slow moving. These two things I can forgive, but Tango Fiesta commits a cardinal sin when it comes to making modern games: the controls are terrible.
The quip in the title isn’t my finest, not that my finest is that fine, but it tells a story about my experience with the controls. When you are using the mouse, the cross-hair moves right along with your mouse; I know this because for whatever reason my mouse pointer was also visible, but that I can let go as bugs happen. What I can not forgive, or comprehend, is why can I move my mouse cursor freely, yet I am locked into shooting in only eight directions? At first I thought it was massive recoil, due to the fact I was firing an OOZI NINE MILLIMETER, which is said in a faux Arnie voice. With the controller it is a little better, not because they change the controls, but because they remove the cross-hair, leaving you to completely rely on the angle the characters weapon is on, and somehow this made me less angry about the controls.
Because I like hurting my friends sometimes, I also got in a bit of multiplayer with my good friend Stephen Snook, and I must say, it had me laughing, but definitely not for a good reason. The game crashed no less then 8 times in the twenty minutes we managed to keep it working for, and in that time, it barely worked. Jumping into a multiplayer lobby, we noticed that there was actually no one playing the game, and to be honest, I don’t blame them. Playing multiplayer highlighted just the large amount of bugs Tango Fiesta has, and this is not a pre release game, or an early access game, this is a month on from release. These weren’t obscure bugs where if you hit the Konami code while standing on your head and the Earth is in precise alignments with Mars, you’re score counter would increase by one; no, these were bugs were the game would just not work correctly, and it happened constantly.
I wrote up most of this review before testing out the multiplayer, so I thought I was being a bit harsh, but having a second opinion really sealed it for me. I don’t like ripping on people who have put their passion and blood, sweat, and tears on the Internet for all to enjoy, but if you release something of this quality and think that it is good enough for the masses, you are either lying to yourself, or just plain wrong, especially at a $13USD price point. The most fun thing about this game is laughing at just how terrible it is, like someone watching a let’s player on YouTube who plays an awful game and you can’t help but laugh at how bad it is. If you want my recommendation on Tango Fiesta, and this genre, it’s simple: go buy Broforce.
What do you guys think? Was I too harsh? Did I go in expecting too much? Do I deserve to be drawn and quartered for this review? Let me know in the comments below.
Tango Fiesta was provided by the developer and reviewed on Steam.
This game is not good. If you need a fast paced, multiplayer shooter, go buy Broforce