A few days ago, I wrote about how Super Smash Bros Ultimate’s Game Director was asking fans to stop messaging him and his team about which DLC fighters they want to see. Today, I’m writing about what five DLC fighters I want to see in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Sorry, Mr. Sakurai. It has to be done, because if I’m right about one of them, I can say, “See? I did that.” This list is by no means based on what I think is likely, only what I want to see.

Bomberman

bomberman

Without those prominent eyebrows, we’d never know what Bomberman was thinking.

He’s got a helmet. He’s got squidgy little pink hands and feet, and another squidgy pink ball on his head for good measure (I think it’s an antenna). He’s a pretty weird little man. He’s Bomberman! I played Bomberman 64 on the Nintendo 64 with a school friend when I was about nine, and I can tell you it was far more epic than any League of Legends E-Sports tournament. Bomberman’s a fairly iconic character, and he’s already an assist trophy. Since three assist trophies have already been turned into full-fledged fighters, Bomberman is slowly but surely worming his strange little self into the game.

I think Bomberman would have a great moveset in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. He’d throw bombs, like Link, but more of them. He could kick them, throw them, lay them like eggs, you name it. But if he gets a punch move, it definitely has to make a squeaky sound or I withdraw my support.

Banjo-Kazooie

banjo kazooie

Why do they look like smiling hurts them?

Another character(s) from a game I’ve played (you may notice a pattern forming here). With Banjo-Kazooie you get two characters for the price of one: Banjo the bear and Kazooie the red bird in his backpack. Banjo-Kazooie came out on the Nintendo 64 back in 1998, and to my recollection, played very similarly to Super Mario 64. They even do the “wahoo” jump. You know which one I’m talking about.

Not only are they an iconic Nintendo duo (despite belonging to Microsoft), but their moveset could be quite diverse, too. There’s a move in the game where Banjo leans back and lets himself be carried by Kazooie in some sort of reverse backpack action. What more could you want? I’ll tell you what:

Turok

turok

Honestly, if you ever meet a raptor, don’t go for the choke hold.

Turok 2: Seeds of Evil is a game about a dude killing anthropomorphic dinosaurs that may or may not also be aliens. Another Nintendo 64 vintage from the great year of ’98. Anyone remember the cerebral bore? If Super Smash Bros. can be said to be missing anything, it’s a cerebral bore homing in on Cloud’s head.

Turok himself wasn’t exactly overflowing with personality, but holy hell, all those weapons would be fun in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Cut people down with the Firestorm Cannon or blow them up with the delayed explosives of the Tek Bow. If that’s not amazing enough for you, just pop on the Triceratops. That’s not a quirky name for a gun, it’s the actual dinosaur. It has twin cannons strapped to its back and you ride it because why wouldn’t you.

Goku

goku

“AAAAAAAHH!”

Come on, let’s get the screaming hair guy in. He can glow, he can shout, and he can turn into a giant monkey. Like Cloud, he could power up, but with more screaming. Just let him keep powering up, going through all the saiyan stages until he’s full technicolor super mega saiyan god X-8000. He’ll look in his opponent’s direction and they’ll implode and be permanently deleted from the game. Goku is one of those characters that Nintendo might throw in just to show that any character that appears in any video game ever will eventually belong to Super Smash Bros. There is no escape.

Lakitu

lakitu

Something about those dead eyes haunts me.

I remember him as the creepy voyeuristic cameraman in Super Mario 64, but Lakitu has appeared in a long, long list of Mario games. He starts the races in Mario Kart and throws all sorts of things at you in the Super Mario Bros. games. Just his pedigree is enough to earn him a spot on the roster. With his repertoire, he could potentially make for a very interesting Super Smash Bros. Ultimate character.

I picture him as a strong air character, carpet bombing you with Koopas and pulling all sorts of tricks out of his… cloud. If that fails, he’d stare creepily at you from a distance, luring you into falling off the stage. If Nintendo ends up taking my sage advice, I really hope they go for the super serious, deadpan face that he has in Super Mario 64. I can’t stress how much he creeped me out. He’s practically interchangeable with Robin Williams in One Hour Photo.

Who would you like to see be the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC characters? Let us know in the comments below!

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Marcus Hansson

Staff Writer

Marcus wants three things: to make fat coin writing cool stuff, to play games, and to find a piece of cardboard that fits neatly under the short leg of his desk. He's been making stuff up since 2006, which happens to be the year David Bowie thanked Marcus for writing all his songs.



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