TR Member Perks!

This is the continued story of a man named Alex.

Looking at the calendar, Alex realized that today was a very momentous day. This was not just because it was a Friday, which is typically the day  that is associated in his mind with frying tasty foods. Not just because he could currently go to any Gamestop across the country and procure a code that will grant you the lord of all Pokemon. No, today was special because today was the day that a video game was announced. Not just any video game though. There are plenty of video games being announced all the time. Probably too many.

In any case, I think the trailer says it best.

Wasn’t that lovely? A nostalgic blast from the past, like some old friend who comes to visit, and not even the type of friend who is just coming over because they don’t have any money and want to eat all the pretzels in your pantry.

Where was I?

Ahh yes. Alex. He watched the video with glee, noting that the monthly Loot Crate but for Indie Games service Indiebox was featuring The Stanley Parable in its monthly offering. The Stanley Parable is, of course, a video game about a man named Stanley working a typical day in an office. One wonders why that type of game warrants a collectors edition, but then one might also wonder about why so many people in Germany want to spend their leisure hours driving virtual forklifts and tractors.

Alex paused the trailer and looked at a photo which detailed the contents of this edition of the game. After looking at the image, Alex could make out the following items.

Stanley Parable Indiebox

  • A PC video game known as The Stanley Parable in a plastic case. 
  • An instruction manual for the PC video game known as The Stanley Parable
  • A music disc that features music that Stanley might hear during a typical day at the office. Alex guessed that it included some soft rock instrumentals and a muzak version of Kiss’s Detroit Rock City.
  • A black and yellow tie, signifying the dreaded monotony of office life while also making a person look spiffy at their next investors brunch.
  • A mousepad for use at an office computer. Alex assumed it would also work in front of a PlayStation 4, especially if he wanted to destroy people in Overwatch without even trying.
  • A business card that players might use to list the extensive skills they’ve learned throughout their years of playing video games instead of interacting with the outside world.
  • A paperweight. 

Alex immediately rushed to the Indiebox website and spent the $24.99 + S&H that it cost for workers in a warehouse in Florida to package the above items into a bigger cardboard box and then send it to his doorstep. Alex wanted to be sure that he forked over these funds before the subscription cut off date of August 18th, otherwise, he would end up with another indie game instead of The Stanley Parable.

Alex then wondered why he had spent that money so effortlessly, thinking for a moment that it could have been used more efficiently, perhaps just by putting it aside and thinking about the future.

Alex tossed aside this brief moment of introspection and loaded up a different video game. He mused to himself that those thoughts were scary and he had a backlog to conquer.

And so, the cycle goes on.


Alex Santa Maria

Reviews Editor

TechRaptor's Reviews Editor. Resident fan of pinball, Needlers, Rougelikes, and anything with neon lighting. Owns an office chair once used by Billy Mays.