Players of Grand Theft Auto Online have long joked and bemoaned about the fact that the online mode of the popular open world crime game lacks much in the way of actual thievery. Well, according to my uncle who works at Rockstar, they have opted to take action on this and start a grand thieving spree.

Rockstar began on this path apparently to address those complaints and add in some real world verisimilitude to the game, to help players realizing what it felt like to be the NPCs robbed. According to said uncle, the goal is to help ensure the player feels like they are in the world, and much like a random passerby in Grand Theft Auto V might be robbed without knowing, so too is the player in GTA Online.

A concession to gameplay was added to ensure players didn’t think it was a bug and tied into the idea of banks and other institutions sending messages when theft happens with a giant alert symbol appearing on the player’s screen telling them how much money that have lost.

What has happened since in player response has shocked Rockstar as players are adding a level of meta-narrative that was never envisioned. Angry players are talking about how they’ll now do what they refused to do before and make use of cheats, hacks, and mods to get their money back, turning into “criminals” in their player interactions with the game, not just character interactions.

My uncle says that while this may impact Shark Card sales, they think that the use of hackers further will give RockStar a great deal of fun and reasons to even further jack prices. There are plans to hike prices to adjust for the increased cheating, so that even basic things become over 90 thousand to purchase, although there are no plans to adjust rewards yet for gameplay. Apparently, that might discourage this sort of meta-narrative play that is going on.

When my uncle came over and I asked him why they used an anti-cheat message for the adjustments, he began to explain that it was all about making it fit within the players expectations and that they were going to tie it into Tuesday’s Smuggler’s Run DLC with players being able to earn things back from an NPCs,  “smuggling” that money back onto the server.

Sadly, as he was beginning to explain further, my uncle was shot with a giant laser that barely missed me. The shooter then etched a giant penis into the wall with the letters RS on it and shouted several things completely unprintable before suddenly disappearing.

Where he is right now I don’t know, I’m hiding here in a specially built bunker hoping that the 2 billion spent on it is enough—for some reason, my bed keeps exploding down here.

KekRaptor is our semi-regular satire series. You can find more of them here.

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Don Parsons

News Editor

I've been a gamer for years of various types starting with the Sega Genesis and Shining Force when I was young. If I'm not playing video games, I'm often roleplaying, reading, writing, or pondering things brought up by speculative fiction.

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