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Pokémon GO fans around the world were disappointed to find that hundreds of the adorable little creatures originally intended for a Pokémon GO Fest event in Chicago were mysteriously stolen by an unknown actor overnight.

Pokémon GO Fest’s Chicago event was slated to be the hub for a worldwide trainer event where players would have increased chances at catching Pokémon. Professional Pokéologists, working alongside private contractors from companies such as Silph Co., had spent several weeks painstakingly capturing a variety of creatures from different regions in preparation for the event. However, “technical difficulties” were encountered after a number of Pokémon were noticed missing from pens that were strategically placed throughout Chicago’s Grant Park and the surrounding area.

A special investigative team from TechRaptor was dispatched to the scene, led on site by TechRaptor CEO Rutledge Daugette who just so happened to be in the area and totally didn’t play “that silly Pokemans game for kids.”

Our team managed to discover several shocking pieces of evidence at the crime scene. Several locks had been clearly been forced open and were strewn about the holding pen area. A Snorlax was found halfway outside its pen with a broken hand cart underneath it and a crate of Val-U-Size Cheez Puffs. Lastly, and perhaps most interestingly, graffiti was sprayed around a number of pens with messages such as “Free Pokémon now!” and “Pikachu Liberation Front.” While Pokémon-related eco-terrorism isn’t a new phenomenon—we have seen such acts committed by the organizations Team Magma and Team Aqua—the Pikachu Liberation Front is an organization that no one has ever heard of before. Experts we contacted suspect that this may be a distraction meant to conceal the identity of the true criminals who organized this breakout.

We attempted to speak with local police regarding the ongoing investigation but we encountered a number of difficulties securing an interview, largely due to the fact that the officers on site were all from a family who had identical green-haired Pentacontakaitetratuplets. Our staff on site encountered similar difficulties with attempting to interview trained medical staff as they were all disturbingly similar in appearance.

Niantic, Inc., the company that runs the smartphone-based Pokédex app Pokémon GO, was unfazed by the events that took place at the first Pokémon GO Fest. A representative from the app developer was last seen flying away from the scene in a helicopter surrounded by armed security and carrying a suspiciously heavy briefcase emblazoned with a large red “R” on it.

As for Silph Co., the CEO of the company released a statement stating that the event his company sponsored in part was “a complete shitshow” and that “this is almost as bad as the fidget spinner Poké Balls we released earlier this year.” In other news, the parent company that owns the popular entertainment facility Celadon Game Corner has acquired a majority stake in Silph Co. after the company’s stock prices plummeted following the failure of the event. We may never know who was behind this particularly heinous act, but it seems that some coincidentally lucky people have made a lot of money in the wake of this disaster.

What do you think of how the Pokémon GO Fest was handled in its first year? Do you think the concerns of “yet another trampling incident” like what happened at the Safari Zone’s Running Of The Tauroses event was a reasonable concern as some had feared? Who do you think may have been behind this incident? Let us know in the comments below!

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Robert N. Adams

Senior Writer

I've had a controller in my hand since I was 4 and I haven't stopped gaming since. CCGs, Tabletop Games, Pen & Paper RPGs - I've tried a whole bunch of stuff over the years and I'm always looking to try more!