There are few things in gaming that are more satisfying than beating a Raid in an RPG; from Destiny to World of Warcraft, Raids represent some of the most difficult team-based activities that you can find in any game, often taking hours to complete under the most ideal circumstances. A single misstep can quite literally cause an entire night’s worth of progress to be invalidated, and you typically can’t just waltz into a Raid and expect to win based on sheer personal skill alone. To put it lightly, a well-designed Raid will test your patience and your ability to work with and trust others, which means that a good Raid group must be competent at the game and be able to withstand multiple soul-crushing failures together. The Leviathan Raid in Destiny 2 is no different, featuring plenty of obstacles that are designed to break lesser teams.
To prevent your own Destiny 2 Raid team from being shattered by the Leviathan Raid, it is thus of paramount importance to be absurdly over-leveled and over-equipped before you even attempt the Raid. Being at around 300 Power is optimal, and having an arsenal of weapons that you can comfortably use in every conceivable situation is near-mandatory. Realistically speaking, this can take days, weeks, or perhaps months to accomplish depending on your playstyle, and it might cause some inventory space issues, but it is far better than realizing that your favorite and singular set of PvP guns may in fact be the cause of many deaths.
As surprising as it might seem though, there is one other underlying element that is the ultimate judge of which teams will be able to claim glory and which teams uninstall the game out of frustration, and that element is the people that you play with. If you don’t have anyone to play Destiny 2 with, try sitting at a bus stop bench with a box of chocolates and waiting for someone named Jenny, or you can use one of the many free social media sites and apps that are available to you in this day and age like Reddit, Facebook, Craigslist, or Tinder. Alternatively, if you’re of the more proactive type, try sending messages to random people in the game, especially to those who beat you in PvP, because there’s nothing that people love more than unsolicited friend requests from random strangers. You can even spend a couple of hours browsing various websites on the Internet and some attractive local individuals who are definitely not in a relationship and definitely not bots, presumably because they are like minded individuals who are also looking for people to play Destiny 2 with.
If you already have friends who play Destiny 2, then that’s great! Be sure to cull the weakest members from your friends list to ensure that your roster of buddies will always be highly skilled—remember, you’re not being a jerk, you’re just making sure that everyone else has a good time. To help speed up this process, try requesting a gaming resume from everyone on your friends list. Throw out any gaming resumes and defriend the individuals associated with them unless they have at least five years of experience at a game that came out less than a month ago, or they have a 3.00 or greater K/D ratio in every FPS, or they are or have been part of an accredited national ESports team during the last 10 years. Alternatively, you can also simply add actual friends and family to your Raid team even if they have very little to no playtime at Destiny 2, though this practice is often frowned upon by nine out of ten MLG pro Twitch YouTubers.
Once you have formed your ideal Raid team and entered the Leviathan Raid, be sure to take command of the situation immediately and micromanage everything, as establishing yourself as the leader early on and crushing any sparks of dissent prevents mutiny. For optimal leadership, track who your Raid teammates are playing Destiny 2 with to make sure that they aren’t sneakily completing the Leviathan Raid behind your back and then make a big deal out of it if they do. However, keep in mind that according to Luke Smith, Destiny 2’s Design Director, the first Destiny didn’t have Raid matchmaking specifically so that the random plebeians that you get matched with don’t end up feeling disposable to you, so to prevent that from happening to your Raid group, have mandatory morale and team-building exercises. If you know the other members of your Raid team in real life, try to schedule real-life meetups to watch real friendship-bonding movies like The Emoji Movie, because nothing says “I value your skill at Destiny 2 and possibly your personality” better than seeing one of the most renowned actors in the world play a literal turd.
If nothing else, try to keep your team’s spirits up by making the whole encounter seem fun. Take a gander at some of the live action ads for Destiny and Destiny 2 and pretend that you and your Raid team are part of that super cool, comparatively good looking, multi-cultural, and undoubtedly super diverse group of actors that are supposed to represent every possible teen-young adult and possibly middle aged demographic. You may need to ignore the fact that said actors were paid to pretend that they are real people who somehow don’t have real life scheduling conflicts that prevent them from playing with each other constantly, but as the ads show, even blisteringly difficult Raid encounters are no match for the power of friendship!
KekRaptor is our semi-regular satire series. You can find more of them here.