Nintendo has announced that new fan-favorite Bowsette will be a character in the upcoming Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Stemming from a trailer for New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe, Bowsette is a female version of Bowser that also looks like Princess Peach. The Super Crown item was shown transforming Toadette into a Peach lookalike, leading to speculation that other characters could also use it.

“Bowsette is one of our most anticipated characters,” said series creator and producer Masahiro Sakurai. “With Ultimate, we want to give the fans everything they want. And we mean everything, even if it means we have to invoke Internet Rule 63.” Internet Rule 63 is a stipulation popularized on 4Chan’s Rules of the Internet, stating that “For every given male character, there is a female version of that character. For every given female character, there is a male version of that character.”

In a trailer, Bowsette appears to be a heavier, harder hitting version of Peach, with some of Bowser’s attributes. She can breathe fire and shoot it from her hands, can swipe with claws, perform an upward spin attack, and do a jump that strikes downward with her shell.

distracted mario bowsette

An artist’s depiction of Bowsette’s final smash (credit: https://twitter.com/chira_573/status/1044134936305852416)

Her Final Smash, however, is an evil version of Peach’s Peach Blossom. While Peach Blossom shows cute images of Peach, these show seductive images of Bowsette that mesmerize the other players in infatuation. One by one, it will show her and an individual player in the same poses as the Distracted Boyfriend meme, in which a man looks at an attractive woman to the envy of his girlfriend beside him. Even the robot R.O.B. is not immune to her charms. Sakurai also stated that the fruits dropped have a 50% chance of either doing damage or recovering 1% health. “We may love her, but if you’re going to be seduced by evil, you’d best prepare to pay the price for it,” added Sakurai.

Reactions from competitive players appear to be mixed, however. “I don’t really like what I’ve seen so far,” said competitive player Mel “Ludd1t3” Venture. “Ever since Melee, man, everything has been too floaty. Sakurai needs to give us what we want.” Erica “Xeno” Wayne was more positive, but expressed frustration at the demo. “They gave us the Joycon controller to use,” referring to the controller that utilizes the Switch’s detachable side controllers. “They should know better by now that anything less than a GameCube controller with the stage set to Final Destination is unacceptable.” Another player was being interviewed, but ended up throwing one of the Joycons at the screen. Security had to escort him from the building, which he resisted while exclaiming something about schezuan sauce.

Super Smash Bros Ultimate launches on the Nintendo Switch December 7th, which gives Sakurai plenty of time to enhance Bowsette. He said that he “may seek help” from Sonic The Hedgehog creator Yuji Naka on how to appeal to such desire for unusual fanart.

KekRaptor is our semi-regular satire series. You can read more of them here.


John Quilty

Staff Writer

I've been a lover of video games, writing, and technology for as long as I remember. I have a B.A. in English from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and I'm happy to write about gaming and technology for TechRaptor.