Thanks to the Battlefield V open beta, people finally got some firsthand experience with EA and DICE’s mildly controversial return to World War 2. While the core gameplay mechanics are generally quite solid (though there is a lot of room for improvement), the game isn’t free from its own share of bizarre features. For instance, you may have noticed that someone at DICE apparently has some kind of goggle fetish. You may have also heard of how Battlefield V’s profanity filter prevents players from typing horribly offensive terms like “white man,” “DLC,”  and “sense of pride and accomplishment” into chat.

Naturally, EA and DICE stated that this was unintentional and that they will be tweaking Battlefield V’s profanity filter. Today, EA gave a demonstration of how the new and improved profanity filter will work. In a first for the video game industry, the new profanity filter, dubbed the Profanity Negation and Easy Integration system (or ProNAZIs for short) will feature state of the art censorship software straight from China and Russia that will examine the context behind whatever you type into chat to determine if it can be deemed offensive to someone.

For instance, simply typing “Hello There” into chat will not trigger ProNAZIs, but typing something like “Why does your guy have four goggles when people only have two eyeballs” will cause ProNAZIs to leap into action, instantly censoring the offensive term or phrase and banning the individual. A report will also be sent to both EA and the offending individual, detailing the reasoning behind the ban, the duration, and a list of all the other fine products that EA offers. In the above case, the report would read “Statement does not respect the gender identity of the character model. Statement may also be offensive to those who wear glasses, the blind, and those who suffer from eyeball related diseases/birth defects/conditions that cause them to be differently abled. Ban duration – indefinite. Please consider buying [other game by EA] until your ban is over and you have had enough time to think about your insensitive actions.”

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“But if I am a white man, do I just automatically get censored?”

But you may be thinking to yourself “What about white man or DLC?” Don’t worry, EA assures us that Battlefield V’s ProNAZIs will enable those specific terms. However, it has been confirmed that ProNAZIs will censor the following individual words to compensate for the suffering that those terms will cause:

  • White
  • Black
  • [Literally every color in the visible and invisible spectrum]
  • Rainbow
  • Man
  • Woman
  • Paid
  • Free
  • Downloadable
  • Content
  • [for the full list of censored words, please consult a dictionary of any language]

For those who worry that Battlefield V’s ProNAZIs may be a bit too effective at its job, don’t worry because EA has you covered. For the low, low price of $19.99, you can download the “Free Speech DLC.” The DLC will give players a random pack of pre-approved inoffensive words and phrases that they can type into chat, including but quite limited to “EA,” “Electronic Arts,” “downloadable content,” and “I love.” EA hopes that by setting such a hard stance on toxicity in games—especially in a game that revolves around the most destructive conflict that mankind has ever witnessed which was instigated by a group of people who, among other things, believed in insane concepts like racial superiority—people will be less inclined to hurt other people’s feelings.

KekRaptor is our semi-regular satire series. You can read more of them here.

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Anson Chan

Staff Writer

You ever wonder why we're here? It's one of life's greatest mysteries, isn't it?